BrainVacation.com - You're Too Picky

I waited a while before I wrote this one, but I think I'm still just as pissed.

I've been single for about a year and a half now. My friends keep telling me it's because I'm too picky. I'd like someone to tell me when I've been picky lately. Tell me how I've been picky. Who have I turned down? Who have I turned my nose up to? Another friend was talking about someone I tried to date and said my "personality drove him away."

Is looking for a guy who wants to commit to something being too picky? Is that the type of personality that drives people away? Excuse me for not wanting to date another fucking whore. I've had enough with the "enjoy it tonight cause he might be gone tomorrow." I'd prefer to be alone than sit and worry about when my boyfriend will leave me for somebody else.

I'm tired of this shit my so-called friends are saying about me. You know what. You can all go fuck yourself. When was the last time one of you tried to help me? When did one of you try to hook me up with someone? Every time you find someone attractive, you fucking hide them from me. If I find someone attractive, you fucking hang on me like a crutch. You make me feel guilty for flirting with someone you like. I'm such a horrible person. I'm stealing him from you. Even if he doesn't like you, I am wrong for flirting with a guy you want.

If I flirt with someone, I'm trying to steal the guy you want. If I don't flirt, I'm too picky. WHAT THE FUCK!!??

I know what the real problem is. I cut off all access. I canceled AOL, I don't chat online anymore, and I don't go to any clubs or anywhere else where I can meet people. I haven't even been answering my email lately. I think only two people read my website now cause I even abandoned it for such a long time.

It's been a lose-loser situation lately for me. Do you know what I've been thinking about doing lately? Yeah! Too bad I can't go through with it.

I shouldn't expect my friends to figure all this out. They're not psychologist. But I do expect that when I express that something upsets me, they should make efforts to stop it. I've gone off on this "you're too picky" shit before. I asked them to tell me how I have been picky. They should know how I feel.

As for my personality, that's what made me popular. That's how I made the friends I have today. Or was it? A constant problem is that all my current friends were physically attracted to me when they first met me. I often wonder if they hang out with me cause they are still attracted to me, not cause they like me as a friend. They have refuted this issue. They say they are over their attraction. But I was scorned a short time ago for "teasing."

Each of them can say what they want, but it is a hard issue to deal with when ALL of my current friends were originally attracted to me. This caused me to push them all away at one time. I thought I was over it, but I still wonder... why are you my friend?

I totally relate to what you're saying. A lot of my friends say the same of me and like you I share the mentality of "why spend energy into fruitless romantic endeavours?" My experience tells me that it won't do you much good to blame your friends for not improving your situation. The only person who cares about your best interests the most is yourself. You simply gotta meet new people or take the initiative to date more. Hiding good "catches" while clinging onto you like a leech when you're donig well with men isn't a rare case. It's like that with everyone. Similiary, you probably wouldn't want to share someone you think is great with your friends. About being picky. I undestand your past experiences may deter you from opening up again but there are good men out there - just takes time to give them a chance (date them) to discover it. We all need some companionship so do give it a chance and date casually. The choice to take it beyond a date are always in your hands so use it well.