Ha! Ha! Fooled you! This isn't about my boss; it is written for my boss or any potential employer who comes across my web site.

It is becoming a trend for companies to research their employees and potential employees on the internet. They look and find your dirty little secrets that you posted for everyone to see, and then make employment decisions based on it. I find this extremely disturbing. It is the equivalent of stalking someone. While I understand that the internet is a public place and I posted the information there with that understanding, the shopping mall is a public place too. If you followed me around the mall watching everything I looked at and who I talked to, I would be very freaked out. This behavior would be socially unacceptable and possibly illegal. Yet people have distorted judgment about these types of issues online. At the very least, it should be considered unethical in a business situation.

If I go to a bar when I'm off work, I don't say "I can't get drunk because my boss might see me and fire me for it." It is not a business related function. If I'm not wearing the company name, then I'm not representing the company. If I'm not doing anything illegal, my actions should be of no concern to my employer.

With all that said, I would like to respectfully ask any employer, coworker or potential employer to disregard and ignore anything they may find on my personal web site. I don't bring my issues to work with me, so there is no reason that you should do it.

Carma Sutra - The Auto-Erotic Handbook

According to the publisher:

Unbuckle your seatbelt for this, the first-ever manual of sex positions for in-car entertainment! Fully illustrated and packed with helpful, practical, model-specific advice, this glove-compartment-sized guide contains everything readers need to rev up their sex drive!

• Features illustrations and advice for over 20 makes and models, from compacts and sedans to hybids and SUVs.
• Includes two double-page gatefolds on taxi cab eroticism and limousine service.
• Perfect for car lovers and lovers in cars alike.

In my job I help a lot of people with real computer problems. It makes me feel good to know that I am doing something helpful. However, sometimes I have to fix "user issues." I understand that not everybody is knowledgeable about computers, but some people come up with some good ones. I hate to belittle people or call something a stupid question, but you should understand after reading a few examples. These are details from help desk tickets at work followed by my comments.

"User accidentally deleted a network printer from her pc. She did not know the exact printer name so since she was in payroll we added the payroll network printer. She says this may not be the printer she deleted. User needed a shared printer mapped"

I'm not psychic. I don't know what printer she deleted either. Maybe she could try printing to the printer that the help desk connected her to. Then she could walk over to the printer she thinks it is and see if they were correct. She could also try reading the label on the printer that says PAYROLL1.

"User is not able to access VPN from home. Internet is not working either."

There is a reason that we tell people that they need an internet connection to use VPN.

"User's account was disabled and needs to be enabled. He is no longer with the company, but needs to log on."

Do you want us to keep sending you a paycheck too?

"User is unable to boot her computer up. She is getting a disk read error. She is rebooting and every time her computer tries to boot up she gets the same error. She has checked for a disk and she does not have one in her hard drive."

When I get to her desk, she is still rebooting. If at first you don't succeed, reboot! Reboot! Reboot! Over and over and over again. Here's a clue: The message said "If this is your first time to see this message, restart your computer. If it continues, contact your administrator."

"User deleted some files. He is not sure what the file names were, where the files were located or when they were deleted. Can they be restored?"

We have over 350 file shares on one server alone. There are thousands of subfolders in those shares. There are around 1,000 people creating, changing and deleting files on that server. That is just one of the 1,000 servers his file could have been on. He wasn't even sure if it was on a server or his local computer. He expects me to figure out which file he deleted when he can't even point me in the right direction? He can't point me in any direction. I later found out that he wasn't even sure if he ever saved the files. He just couldn't find them. Once again, I'm not psychic.

"User needs to recover a deleted email. He emptied his deleted items folder and cleared the recovery cache."

You have to try very hard to permanently delete an email at my company. You have to delete it from the Inbox first. Then you have to delete it from the Deleted Items folder. After that, it is held in a Recovery Cache for about a week. You technically have to delete the email three times. Sorry man, but three strikes and your SOL.

"I hear there was a layoff recently and I am interested obtaining a laptop with more power than the one I currently posses."

Have you no shame? Show some respect for the recently departed you filthy grave robber.

"I visit our local football team's web site for news and information about our team. I am a former player who likes to keep up with the news. This web site has not been available for the past few days."

Maybe your manager had the site blocked so you would do some work instead of fucking around on the internet all day.

Did you know that there are places where a child can hug and frolic with an adult and nobody associates any perverted thoughts about it? Not in America. Not anymore.

Washington Post: Is That 4-Year-Old Really a Sex Offender?

Favorite quote:

"In December 2006, a 4-year-old boy in Waco, Tex., was punished with an in-school suspension after a female aide accused him of sexual harassment. According to a television station there, the child had hugged the woman while getting on the bus, and she later complained to administrators at La Vega Primary School that the child had put his face in her chest."

Yes, America, you have truly lost your fucking mind! If you even consider pressing sexual harassment charges against a pre-schooler, you need to seek therapy about your unhealthy aversion to sex. No, that 4-year-old is not the pervert. You are!

Today is World Hearing Voices Day. Did you know that not all people who hear voices find them distressing? Please take a moment to review the links below and possibly develop a better understanding of "auditory hallucinations."

Links of interest:

Hearing Voices: Some People Like It

Can hearing voices in your head be a good thing?

The Campaign for Abolition of the Schizophrenia Label

World Hearing Voices Day Events Worldwide

Hearing Voices Network

The International Community for Hearing Voices

Search for more on Google

I just went to the dentist for the first time in about 14 years. I haven't had insurance all that time, and couldn't afford it. So I was scared that he was going to look in my mouth and say that all that candy has rotted my teeth away. Instead, he shocked me by saying my teeth are in really good condition. There is some calcium buildup on some of my teeth. He said this is because I haven't had them cleaned in so long, but they'll get all that off next week.

Of course all that was before the x-ray. After the x-ray, he brought the picture to me and said it was "interesting." Apparently, I still got one of my baby teeth and the adult tooth is up above it. He pointed out how the tooth is smaller than its counter-part on the other side. He said he is going to consult a surgical dentist to determine if it should be pulled or not. It doesn't hurt, so I'd rather leave it alone. He also showed me that one of my wisdom teeth has grown in sideways and is pushing against the root of its neighbor. That tooth will have to come out.

I lie in bed sometimes and wonder if people will ever think about me and say "I saw the signs, but I didn't do any thing." I wonder if they will ever say "I could have helped him." I wonder how long it will take them to forget about me. Then I wonder if they will even notice. If they don't care about me now, why would they care about me then? It's not like I hide the signs. I fucking cry for help, but nobody is listening. I hang on because I know that somebody cares and I don't want to hurt them. I keep hoping that things will get better one day. But even when things get better, something is still wrong. Why is my happiness so short lived? I just need one thing to make me happy. The one thing that I can not find.

So my juvenile delinquent cousin got my cell phone number and sent me a pic of a guy's dick for some reason. Here is the text message conversation that followed, nicely formatted for your enjoyment.

How did laundry get to be such a chore? It used to be that I would come home from work/school and throw a load in the washer. I'd throw it in the dryer before I went to bed and grab it out the next morning. I'd do laundry two or three times a week and everything was clean except for what I was wearing. It never bothered me. Now I hate doing laundry. It seems like no matter how much I wash, the laundry basket is always full.

When did snow become an evil blanket from hell? I used to look forward to snow days. I remember a time when I would see snow out the window and I would rush to get dressed so I could go play in the snow. I would have snow fights. I would make snow angels. If there was enough snow we would make a snow man. Now I hate snow. I hate it because I get stuck in my house with nothing to do. If I have to go out, I dread it because everybody forgets how to drive.

Speaking of that, when did driving become something I hate? I used to love driving. My friends and I would pile in my truck and drive around all day. I didn't care where we were going, as long as we ended up somewhere. Now I hate driving. Other drivers stress me out all the time. They're driving too slow or they're cutting me off and making me hit my brakes.

When did I become so bitter and cynical? When did I start to hate people? When did I start to hate the things that I love? When did I start to hate everything? What happened to me?